october 26th (sharp tusks)

I'm the ivory in every room
Just waiting for wind to disturb my bones
I hate the ghosts in every room
The dead air space between me and you

I'm no longer the tape that holds everything together
I just want to be the liquid that lets everything be

You were just the firefly i mistook for the moon
Encircling my head, like a drunk carousel pony
Dry yourself off from the light of the moon
I know there must be something that's drowning you

I'm no longer the tape that holds everything together
I just want to be the liquid that lets everything be

I'm awake in the violet under your eyes
Implanted in what won't let you sleep
Dance in the blanket shielding your eyes
Sometimes uncomfortable is a good place to be

I'm no longer the tape that holds everything together
I just want to be the liquid that lets everything be

I'm the ivory in every room
Just waiting for wind to disturb my bones
I hate the ghosts in every room
The dead air space between me and you
Your eyes are dead in the space between me and you.

um um a couple days ago.

i am so tired of being attached to my waist
i've ridden this whole cycle more times than i can take
if i could scream, or be silent, you would never be satisfied
if i could be stronger, or less something, you could open your eyes
i need someone to stop letting go

the curve of every letter couldn't explain what i've thought
the murmur of every secret couldn't ever help me out
i'm nothing of what you're thinking, im everything you know
i'm nothing of what you're thinking, i'm everything you know,
i'm everything you've ever thought, i hate what you think you know.

i am so tired of being put on the back of the burner
another tire fastened loosely to the door
losing more with every faulty step i take out of line
every chalk mark reassures me this has happened before
so please ask me again why i don't talk anymore

Don’t kidnap the spells that once ran through broken fingers
Because they’re dry and unable to create
When these letters lose all of their shape
You'll find something to suit taste
something perfect for you to waste

oct 16

Sometimes I wish I could be the one who wins
I’ve seen too many ribbons raveled around too many torsos
And too many footprints I’m unable to fill
I’ve had my eyes glued to clocks and I’m still waiting for time to stand still
The tilt of your head said you’d heard of the new record
The midnight of my eyes tried to kidnap that of yours
Now you’re electric, as if you were an eel
And now I’m awkward on the outside, not knowing what to feel

You were the first after the epic
A poem that lasted far too long
Trying to fit in every detail from every vowel I wrote
And every single time you were ever wrong

writing class intimidates me.

I could burn a hole in this floor,
just waiting to inspire, or be inspired
if I could, I’d hold on to this for longer
but I am far too tired
there’s a ghost wherever we used to be
the lack of your presence, present.
I would whisper every explanation you need to hear
But I don’t know how to be closer.
In a room full of storming heads
I am the only one without a basket
Catching syntax if you’re lucky
I’d wait around and catch when your crystals drop, if you’d only asked it.
Don’t kidnap the spells that once ran through broken fingers
Because they’re dry and unable to create
When letters lose all of their shape
That’s the day I’ll know I’ve had it.


i'm turning blue with every day i can't do this.