june 29th, 08

i have so many emeralds stuck in my throat.
you've got so many rock falling out of your mouth.
heavy machinery wheels grind words whenever anybody talks
we always fall victim to the weight of these rocks.
i am no good at any of this.
i thought you were too good for any of this.
but you are no good at any of this.

i would crawl to the sun if it meant i would come out brighter
you would sit on the moon if the heat was too much
the grooves that you've slept in will never compare to your skin's texture
so don't squint your eyes, you're words pour out of more than light fixtures.
nobody can be good at this.
we will never be good at this
one of us needs to be good at this.

i could sleep between blue lines if you would ever join me
you would hide behind red ones if you it meant you weren't revealed.
blank looks and blank sheets, all agree they've got nothing
i hope that one day you'll get your tongue back for somethhing.
i'm trying so hard to be good at this.

june 22nd.

it's unnatural for my back not to be broken
from carrying the weight of everything i've ever known.
and from all the times you've walked across it
but the truth is i bury all of my broken bones
you never asked permission to dig what i bought for you
into the grooves between shoulder blades
every single feeling i've ever felt for you
you've smashed between my vertebrae

don't ask for a heart you don't know how to keep
cause i'm sick of having to find it for you
and i've tried for too long to hold it up
so slide your hands down and feel what you've caused to sink.

somehow you've slipped something inside of my greens and blues
i didn't think that your diction could get under my skin
and now red is getting darker because of the ink from your words
and you've pumped regrets in my brain that i've begged not to go in
you never asked permission to break what i've been holding
i never even told you that you'd have to try
now every single feeling i've ever felt for you
is smeared town the pathways trailing out of my eyes.

don't ask for a heart you don't know how to keep
cause i'm sick of having to find it for you
and i've tried for too long to hold it up
so slide your hands down and feel what you've caused to sink.

you were at the top of my lungs.
who knew two syllables could set me off.

june 19th.

i can't understand it when you play me messages backwards.
and answering machines can never capture your emotions
and when i started, i said i would try and relax first.
but i found out that was not an accurate notion

i'm getting good at contorting to fit like a ring around your finger.
although you're not holding promises, and i'm not sure if i am.
to you, i'm the cheapest metal, and you're expecting green skin
but i could never push revenge on somebody i want to let in.
and although you think i'll tarnish
i'll be the best you've ever seen.

maybe i'll propose ideas to you
using only prepositions
and we'll go on walks without weather recommended clothes
and i'll wait until we're in a better condition

june 9th. i want songwriting/poetry writing to be my career.

NEW: i want the cotton on my shoulder to be darker than the rest.
blacks and blues aren't your color.
and there's this key on my neck
with uneven teeth,
i love your uneven teeth.
there's nobody i'd rather be beneath.

we don't know how, but i want to swim in the salt
let your eyes sting just this once
and cigarettes on your breath, just another fault,
that i hate,
you're the only one that i can't hate
please drop me a line, i don't need any bait.

i want to see you when you're vulnerable
but you don't know how to let me in
and i'm trying now to be stable
it's strange
yeah, i know you're strange
but there's so many things i hope you'd never change

you are so important.


OLD:
i want the cotton on my shoulder to be darker than the rest.
blacks and blues aren't your color.
and there's this key on my neck
with uneven teeth,
i love your uneven teeth.
there's nobody i'd rather be beneath.

i want to swim in the salt,
but we don't know how.
and there's cigarettes on your breath
something i hate,
you're the only one that i can't hate
please drop me a line, i don't need any bait.

i want to see you when you're vulnerable
but you don't know how to let me in
and i'm prying now
but you're full
i wish you weren't full
i think we're both what we need just to be a bit stable.

you are so important.