black and white

sadness comes with colors

like blue and gray and black

sadness has an aura

that always brings you back

sadness carries so many words

a segregated dictionary

that knows exactly the moment when

your eyes mist over and get weary

sadness has so many moods

i could never narrow it down to one

i've let it cloud me over so many times

i can feel it before its begun

pages and pages of just one thought,

how selfish can it be?

or perhaps i am the selfish one,

for always letting it come back to me.

there's nothing sadness doesn't have

except it's missing just one thing

i have something far superior

and it means more than anything

though i do not embellish every page

with it's moods, and words, and eyes

my body carries it like my bones

and i feel it moving around inside

happiness is hard to keep

when sadness hides in every fold

but it disappears when i think of you

and i slide into our mold

happiness is hard to write about

as it's something you can't watch

but you are something i can see, hear, and feel,

and love until my heart stops

yellow bird

if you can shadow a cloud
then you could shadow me
like the imprint that’s left
or the news on tv
now my fingers are faucets
with a permanent leak
fragments and ink stains
that just want a place to be

every skull keeps like plastic
holding everything that’s left
like your liquid lit eyes
or your beautiful breath
i’m just a trunk in an attic
that i keep in my chest
to remind myself that i need this
when its only air on my neck

i don’t dream anymore
of the things i’ll never be
when i lay next to you
just like a black and white dream
it never seems to matter
to the ghost inside me
because when our bones are parallel
it means everything to me

like a conspiracy theory
i’ve polished to a tee
i only write in the air of an upset
because it’s only for me
but when hearts are connected
and my teeth get to breathe
the only one on my mind
is the one i am trying to please

deliberate anatomies

I've got eyes
With second hands built in
Watch them swivel and swing
Like a cuckoo bird, I'll sing
I've got eyes
With deliberate rings
Half moons and eclipses
That don't mean a thing

And I've got hands
With bones that can bend
And magnets in the joints
That want to extend
Yeah, I've got hands
With palms like a map
Just follow them straight
And you'll always come back

I've got a tongue
And a teeth-made bed frame
With lips for a door
A distorted privacy game
See, I've got a tongue
That seems to get in the way
But pearly bodyguards always
Make sure it stays

I have a backbone
With many vertebrae
And it curves like a smile
And tries to whither away
But I have a backbone
That you hold up so kind
It's easy to forget
That backbone was mine

You have a heart
That sits in its cage
And it beats like a drum
And gets carried away
You also have eyes,
A tongue, hands, and back
A deliberate anatomy
There's nothing you lack.

laundry television

I fell through myself
And I slid through my bones
I emptied my veins
I emptied my brain

I dropped every contour
Of every wicked syllable
I erased every page
And I washed them away

I unwrapped the steel links
They crashed through the floor

What an airless weight

For heiroglyphic slates

I unraveled every emerald
And I kept one for you
Their edges, away

But I want yours to stay

Every space that I kept
Disappeared with the wind
they all blew away
They all moved away

Now my eyelids hold peace
Instead of uneasy waves
I float through the sea
But don't belong to the sea

I used to see liquids
Now I think in only swirls
I blend with ink and water,

You make me ink and water

The night will coax you out
With a finger or a nod
And lead you through trails

That only bring you trails

I fell through myself
And I slid through my bones
But you kept me inside,

You let me inside.

play time

it's strange how a shape,

your shape, can take me

and the shape of your mouth

how i've watched it break me

and i've let so many strings

inside my skin

and they pull me away

just how i pulled them in

but i feel juxtaposed

with heavy weights, but i'm free

i carry stones in my heart

and the air carries me.

i watch myself float

away from myself

with a translucent ghost coat

i breathe back to the shelf

but a throat can only carry

so many alphabets

but i'll keep on learning new ones

until i get over this

there's a ticking in my back

and it tells me when to bend

i heard it breathe and relax

as you pulled on every string

now it's curved to the side

where you wanted it to be

and i'm trying to re-mold

what you left so unnaturally

and it's so lovely to remain

in a mattress made of sand

any hourglass would tell you

everything it can

and i would trace your figure

with the fingers that i crossed

and i'd bottle every word

that translations might've lost

i still keep a heavy head

that tries to keep up with my heart

and the ticking in my back

i can't stop it once it starts

and in the crescents of your eyes

i wonder what still swims with you

but if you're asking me

i'd love to swim with you

but my minds a constant wind storm

a scratched up old film roll

sun leaks and black spots paint me blue

already unraveled whole

writing bye bye. :(

it's been so long. i don't feel it anymore

there are people, and there's places
and there's voices, and there's faces
and there's pearled syllables
that hang around your neck
and there are lakes and many seas
and tarnished rings for eternity
but there's nothing i can be
around your neck
i'm just tired of guessing and pretending
and empty blue conversations
and wet shoes pointed inwards
when they don't know what to say
so i'll still sit on your bed
another place that i might keep
but with everything you've said
it wont be the same
and my body on that mattress
won't tell you like a compass
and your drop ins may not hold you
when you think i'll keep you up
but i will unzip every zipper
and take off every layer
of the suit that you had made me
something i should never have worn
but you gave it like a handshake
and i took it, oh what these hands made
and everything i gave it
now it's gone into the clouds
and maybe it will float there
synchronize swimming with the birds

and the parcel on your doorstep:

i hope it's what you're looking for.

finally.