laundry television

I fell through myself
And I slid through my bones
I emptied my veins
I emptied my brain

I dropped every contour
Of every wicked syllable
I erased every page
And I washed them away

I unwrapped the steel links
They crashed through the floor

What an airless weight

For heiroglyphic slates

I unraveled every emerald
And I kept one for you
Their edges, away

But I want yours to stay

Every space that I kept
Disappeared with the wind
they all blew away
They all moved away

Now my eyelids hold peace
Instead of uneasy waves
I float through the sea
But don't belong to the sea

I used to see liquids
Now I think in only swirls
I blend with ink and water,

You make me ink and water

The night will coax you out
With a finger or a nod
And lead you through trails

That only bring you trails

I fell through myself
And I slid through my bones
But you kept me inside,

You let me inside.

play time

it's strange how a shape,

your shape, can take me

and the shape of your mouth

how i've watched it break me

and i've let so many strings

inside my skin

and they pull me away

just how i pulled them in

but i feel juxtaposed

with heavy weights, but i'm free

i carry stones in my heart

and the air carries me.

i watch myself float

away from myself

with a translucent ghost coat

i breathe back to the shelf

but a throat can only carry

so many alphabets

but i'll keep on learning new ones

until i get over this

there's a ticking in my back

and it tells me when to bend

i heard it breathe and relax

as you pulled on every string

now it's curved to the side

where you wanted it to be

and i'm trying to re-mold

what you left so unnaturally

and it's so lovely to remain

in a mattress made of sand

any hourglass would tell you

everything it can

and i would trace your figure

with the fingers that i crossed

and i'd bottle every word

that translations might've lost

i still keep a heavy head

that tries to keep up with my heart

and the ticking in my back

i can't stop it once it starts

and in the crescents of your eyes

i wonder what still swims with you

but if you're asking me

i'd love to swim with you

but my minds a constant wind storm

a scratched up old film roll

sun leaks and black spots paint me blue

already unraveled whole

writing bye bye. :(

it's been so long. i don't feel it anymore

there are people, and there's places
and there's voices, and there's faces
and there's pearled syllables
that hang around your neck
and there are lakes and many seas
and tarnished rings for eternity
but there's nothing i can be
around your neck
i'm just tired of guessing and pretending
and empty blue conversations
and wet shoes pointed inwards
when they don't know what to say
so i'll still sit on your bed
another place that i might keep
but with everything you've said
it wont be the same
and my body on that mattress
won't tell you like a compass
and your drop ins may not hold you
when you think i'll keep you up
but i will unzip every zipper
and take off every layer
of the suit that you had made me
something i should never have worn
but you gave it like a handshake
and i took it, oh what these hands made
and everything i gave it
now it's gone into the clouds
and maybe it will float there
synchronize swimming with the birds

and the parcel on your doorstep:

i hope it's what you're looking for.

finally.

Resolution

Telescopes for each eye,
Stretch them out
But I can't find
Fingerprints on anything,
Every bit you’ve left behind
Don’t tell me you would never try

I built walls
To keep me still;
Or maybe they were all for you
A place to stay
A pillow or a leg.
Can’t you just find your way?
I wish I could just find my way

If the doctor used
Magnets on you,
You must’ve been sick, too.
White coats
And microscopes
Remember you, too.
And a hospital bed
Will drench you
And I would be too,
If you’ve kept what I’ve seen
You would be too

And I’d take every minute
Of cement inside of me
If you could hold a stare
Or just a feeling
Because I’d give you my bones
Or anything you pleased,
If I could sit with your skin
Like a new puzzle piece.
You know I'd fit right in.

Your mind is like a virus
It can always find a new way in
And you cling, and you cling,
You cling, and you win
But the magnets were placed
With such strategy
That I get stuck to you
Before you get off of me
I can't get away from you

conor did you write this for me?

"Everything is as it's always been
This never happened"

"Don't take it so bad, it's nothing you did
It's just once something dies, you can't make it live
You're a beautiful boy, you're a sweet little kid
But I am a woman"

So I laid back down and wrapped myself up in the sheet
And I must have looked like a ghost, cause something frightened me
And since then I've been so good at vanishing

Now I do as I please, and I lie through my teeth
Someone might get hurt, but it won't be me
I should probably feel cheap, but I just feel free
And a little bit empty

No it isn't so hard to get close to me
There will be no arguments, we will always agree
And I will try and be kind when I ask you to leave
We will both take it easy

But if you stay too long inside my memory
I will trap you in a song tied to a melody
And I'll keep you there so you can't bother me"

Archaeology

Paint with me, please
Our fingers like a brush
Lay with me, please
Did she teach you how to touch?

Cause if backprints
Were just misprints
How can you leave it alone?
And if you branched out
Just to cash out
You've already collected all of my bones

Wire yourself, please
So I don't have to listen anymore
And push yourself, please
Since I can't move you anymore

Cause if backprints
Were just misprints
Why did you never spell me right?
And if untidy lips
Were your final grip
I'm not going to be the first to bite

Ravel me, please
Because I've seemed to come undone
And fray me, please
Because the fall was half the fun

and if backprints
Were just misprints
Can you erase such an easy mistake?
And when you built me
Did you plan me?
You know I'm always the one to break

Talk with me, please
Tell your story of white and gold
Lie to me, please
You never seem to get old